Don't fuck boys, it's bad for your soul. (Or "boys want to rape you through your clothing")

I just got back from an off campus party at a house called WallBack. We walked a looong way 'cross campus, practically dragged by Ananda and Danny, who wouldn't let us sneak away when Christine and I tried to. Everyone else consumed a beer or two on the walk, I declined yet again. I found the whole journey entertaining, a long Odyssey in search of the rumored party of the night. One walks and walks and consumes and waits for confused people to catch up, until bass beats waft through windows, and the reek of sweat and alcohol suffocates away all nearby oxygen. "Yes," they say, "perhaps we have hit home (f**k yeah)". It's so nice to be one of the party, and to be valued (if for just filling out said posse), and to have guys you like become a teensy bit buzzed yet still take care of you and try to make sure that you have a good time. They're not rapish, they just want to integrate me into their culture (ha, I talk like they're aborigines or something). However, they don't know what "having a good time" means to me.. so eventually in the learning-of-me they'll have to learn my version of the ROCKIN' SATURDAY NIGHT.

Oh, gay porn was projected on a wall at the party.. my second? time seeing gay porn. Really not very interesting. Was that guy-on-guy porn that we saw through the fence at Rose's birthday party years ago?

I studied guys tonight, how their eyes were slow and glazed, how they asked each other "HOW'S YOUR MOTHER?" sarcastically with a bit of a slurred accent. Lots of overzealous pats on the back, like they don't know their own strength. Our friends wanted us to have such a good time when we were there.. it was funny, I was taken right out of my room in cordouroys, a band shirt, suit jacket, scarf and tilted hat.. I wasn't dressed NEARLY slutty enough to show people up while losing my dignity. But s'ok, I had a wonderful time walking back in the lamplight through the wooded walkways, Christine and I were characters in our own version of Blankets. Everything is SO much more beautiful at night. The grass is greener, and the barely waning moon gave the fluffery clouds halos.